A great question!  As your life unfolds this year, have you yet planned out your vision board of your goals and dreams, or plans for your business?  Will you be changing jobs/ starting a business/ going back to Uni/ getting healthy/ getting married/ buying a home/ starting a family/ separating/ travelling around Aust/ learning a new hobby? Or is it more survival my friends?  Getting by on a Govt payout/ living off your super/ looking for that well paid position/ getting that degree/ caring for an ageing relative? Whatever your plans are for 2021, what difference can embracing the feminine make? For many – this is zero - if you  think this means getting a better make of high heels, or a fancier hairstyle!  So what exactly is the feminine, and what difference can embracing this more feminine side of your nature make? We all know men and women, male and female, and the derivative of masculine and feminine. But what exactly is the difference?  I can’t speak for the male – although I’m learning more as life develops! 😊 However I can speak for the female of the species because I am her, I have lived a number of years on this planet, I have studied the feminine, and have had the privilege of teaching many women about the power of the feminine! It was a revelation to me to discover – only 10 years ago - that although I identified as a woman (because I’d been through menopause and had the body of a woman – and looked and sounded like a woman), that I also had a more feminine and sensual side to my nature.  And when that feminine and sensual woman within saw her opportunity to reveal herself to me (at a Heart Intelligence Retreat in the UK), she exploded into my life and gave me so much joy and a new spirit of life after I’d become widowed that my life was transformed! So what am I on about?  We’re born with a natural inner ‘feminine essence and energy’ as babies – however our upbringing may have taught us to become tomboys, or not to allow ourselves to feel like that pretty little girl who was daddy’s princess.  We may have been horribly abused or neglected, and learned to distrust the masculine of the species.  On the other hand, we may have learned that the only way forward was to ‘prostitute’ our sex, either physically or metaphorically.  And many of us learned that it wasn’t safe to feel or experiment with our own sexuality or sensuality…. so we grew up as best we could, fell in and out of love, had children and often ended up on our own as both mum and dad to our kids.  This has meant that many of us have become very ‘masculinised’ in our society – which after all, pays more money to men – no wonder we need equality. However the other revelation was to realise that equality…

  Are you a woman in mid-life or above who’s ‘fed up’ with Covid 19?  Or are you still very much in the middle of all the implications this has thrown at you, both as a society and at you as an individual? Have you been forced to re-examine your priorities?  Even the quality of your relationships?  What about the KEY one, with your partner?  There are many women who’ve needed to tread the thin line between longing for his practical, supportive love, and wanting to ‘nail his butt to the mast’ for refusing to step up!  A female comic once said the tension between these two priorities was a great definition of stress! Yes - Covid has affected me, along with all those in my age range of ’70 something’, in my capacity to get out there but avoid crowds – thank God for my supportive girlfriends!  And of course in my own case I have also been focusing on completing my book: ‘How to be a Widow: Powerful Transformation through the Cocoon of Grief’ whilst I healed from the out of left field devastating fall I experienced almost 12 months ago in Bali, which necessitated hospitalization in that country and a hip replacement. And to be honest, not only was I healing physically from this trauma (including learning how to do something as basic as walking again), but also healing emotionally and spiritually, as my confidence got ‘knocked for 6’.  I went to Bali 12 months ago feeling like a ‘bad ass goddess’ – but returned feeling initially like a little old lady with white hair and a cane, who was pretty useless to Society at the time. Those of you who know me will realise this was NOT that energized, feminine, sassy woman who wanted to get her work out globally! As a result I needed to sit initially in that uncomfortable place where I had no idea why this had happened, or what to do in the future.  Have you ever experienced this?  Sometimes we need to seek in earnest (which was my predicament), but sometimes it can be so painful we just want to ‘distract ourselves and run away’ – bury our head in the sand, decide that we don’t need a decision just yet, etc.  Are you familiar with this?  I sure was! So I sat in that Rehab hospital in Brighton and reflected, meditated and journalled (a powerful trinity of intentions) – until it occurred to me I could complete the book I had commenced 8 years before on my incredible journey through that ‘cocoon of grief’.  And 2 weeks later it was revealed to me that I could also become a speaker based on the fact that I would be a published author – great I said to myself – that’s one for the books!  But at heart it was my ego picking up that I could still be worth something after all these months of feeling incompetent, foolish, and at rock…

If I asked you to put your hand up if you feel you’re a strong & independent woman – would you shoot that hand right up?  Me too!  And if I asked you to keep it up if you’re proudly strong and independent, would you keep it up?  Yep, me too! 😊 Have you ever wondered however if you might be paying a ‘high price’ price for your independence?  Now what do I mean by that?  Well – put it this way – If a guy offers to open a door for you – or offers to carry something if you seem to be struggling – do you say ‘Wow – thanks?’  Or do you glare at him and ask him if he thinks you look helpless or something?! ☹ ­ And aaaaaagh – even worse girls – is if you think you might look NEEDY to him?  Hands up those who hate the thought that someone else might think they’re a needy woman?  Yep – me too!  Even if we are dateless – we don’t want anyone to think we’re dateless and desperate!!  So we wear masks sometimes to hide the fact that we may be lonely – or hurting… So – back to our topic – 5 ASSUMPTIONS that we as strong independent women make in relation to attracting the masculine:   ASSUMPTION 1 is that we don’t want him to ASSUME we are needy, or lonely, or desperate – so instead what do we do? We make ourselves so damned independent that he often can’t see if we’re actually interested in him, or where on earth he would fit into our lives!  Have any of you had this experience? That you wanted to catch his eye – but you were so afraid of him thinking you were some kind of needy woman – you know – high maintenance – that you looked the other way instead?  So the first thing we need to learn from such an experience – is that FEAR can generate SABOTAGE within us! So simply become aware of your thinking processes!  If you encourage him by flirtatious glances, just assume instead that this is all the encouragement he needs to head your way to talk to you - because–that's the signal he needs to act for both of you!     The best way not to assume that he’s thinking of you negatively is to appreciate his masculinity – the fact that men are the protectors, the providers, they do the grunt work, they make amazing fathers, they take the initiative – and that includes approaching you for a date!  😊 This is sooooooo important lovelies – because conversely if you make it too easy for a guy (because you may be smitten with him and think you have to give him what he wants to keep him) and he doesn’t need to PURSUE you – then he will often have a hard time MAINTAINING your relationship.  You will end up having to do…